Dating is one of the most challenging parts of being a human. Finding the right person, who can be your best friend and soulmate, love you through your flaws, and comfort you at your lowest points, is no easy feat.
And some would say that sober dating adds a whole different kind of stress to the dating scene because, for many, alcohol and other substances are a way to alleviate the stress that comes with meeting new people.
Think about it. First dates or even first encounters happen at bars, restaurants, or parties where alcohol is present. Alcohol is a substance that will lower your inhibitions and make it easier to relax and chat with people.
You can sometimes seem more outgoing and forward when using substances to talk to new people, so when you take it out of the equation, it’s like learning to socialize all over again as a new person.
What Should I Keep in Mind When Dating Sober?
Dating someone when you are sober, and they are not, can sometimes be difficult, and if your partner is not understanding of the way substances impact your life, you might find it is not a great fit.
Of course, some people are incredibly open and careful to learn the proper ways to support sobriety.
If you are considering dating while focusing on your sobriety, meeting people who are on the same journey creates a more relatable and relaxing environment.
You already have one motivation in common: sobriety.
That said, meeting people who are sober while out and about is not always easy. There’s no one thing that helps you identify someone who is living a sober lifestyle, so finding others on the same journey isn’t an obvious task.
That’s where dating apps come in. And not just any dating app.
Sober dating apps and apps with filters help sober individuals who are looking to form meaningful connections find others on the same path to sobriety.
There are plenty of apps to try out, and we want you to be successful in love, so we’ve compiled our top six apps for sober dating!
1. Loosid
Probably at the top of our list is Loosid. With this app, you get more than just a dating app, as Loosid is an overall sobriety app. It focuses on all the different nuances that come with sobriety, like tips on sobriety, chat groups where people can connect with other sober individuals, guides for rehab, mentorships, and quitting alcohol, as well as sober dating.
The point of Loosid is to connect with other individuals like yourself who are dealing with getting sober and are looking for a sense of community and guidance. The dating portion of the app works to connect individuals who are looking to take the next step in their romantic lives.
For many, becoming sober can be difficult and isolating, and you might have lost people during the sobriety process. Loosid brings people together who are searching for the same thing—building a relationship on a solid foundation.
2. Clean and Sober Love
A new but growing app, Clean And Sober Love (CASL), is a free downloadable app that connects sober individuals who are looking for love! So far, over 30,000 people have signed up for the app to take them to the next step.
Like other dating apps, you can set your preferences between men, women, or both, as well as your age range and distance. CASL also has a directory of sober individuals around you who have downloaded the app to help you potentially make connections with various people.
With apps specifically geared towards sober individuals, you don’t have to worry about the sometimes awkward “I don’t drink” conversation.
Not everyone understands just how impactful and challenging substance use disorder is, and matching with people who don’t share the same values or habits in life can have its downfalls.
With CASL, you can be assured that the people you are connecting with are looking to maintain a sober lifestyle while looking for love.
3. eHarmony
There aren’t many dating apps that are for sober people only, but that doesn’t mean that conventional dating apps don’t work for sober individuals.
In many cases, apps will offer you the ability to clarify whether you use substances or not by choosing a specific filter or when filling out your profile. eHarmony is one of the biggest dating apps, and it helps match individuals from all over with different backgrounds and needs.
Due to its sheer size, joining a dating app like eHarmony opens you up to many available people. The experts behind eHarmony are working to find you potential matches who share similar views, lifestyles, and complementary personalities.
Another great thing about eHarmony is that you don’t have to worry about the intentions of the people you are connecting with. Most users are ready to take the next step and find someone they’ll spend serious time with, building a relationship and experiencing new things together.
4. Match.com
Similar to eHarmony is Match, where experts work to pair up individuals who share commonalities with how they want to experience their life. Not everyone on this site is sober, but it’s easy to make it known that you are looking for someone who doesn’t drink or smoke or use other substances.
So, while having the “I don’t drink” conversation can be challenging, it might be a lot easier to do it online first rather than in person.
With bigger sites like Match, you can see a larger group of available individuals in your area, giving you more options to choose from. Some sober-specific dating sites are not as active as Match and eHarmony, making the dating pool a lot smaller.
You aren’t going to click with someone just because you are both sober, so avoiding dating apps because they aren’t strictly sober won’t do you any good! If you are determined to find someone to spend time with, you can do so on any dating app.
Additionally, Match does not just focus solely on romantic relationships. You can meet new friends or just focus on dating casually as you continue to navigate your sobriety.
5. Sober Grid
Not all sober dating apps focus just on dating. Many sober apps want to focus on your sobriety and find solutions to help you feel supported through your journey.
It can be easy to feel alone, especially if you are one of the only people you know trying to become sober. Sober Grid was created to help build a community of individuals who can support and help each other grow.
The app also has a built-in sobriety calendar, so you can track how many days you go without using any substances. The app has many functions that make it more than just about dating. You can reach out easily to a community of people willing to talk with you and show their support.
Not all romantic relationships start off romantic. Relationships with strong supportive foundations can blossom into something more meaningful, and Sober Grid puts you in a place where this development is possible.
6. Hinge
Now, if you really want to use a popular and successful app, download Hinge! This dating app is unique because it allows you to be very clear in your profile on your take on substances.
You can let everyone know right off the bat whether or not you smoke marijuana, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or use drugs. You can choose from “Never” to “Frequently” so that people can understand the extent to which you are comfortable with substances.
You can view someone’s profile before liking or disliking them to see how they feel about substances as well, making it easier for you to sift through potential matches.
Having this ability can help you avoid those awkward sobriety conversations and instead get into the deeper reasons behind their answers. It makes for a great conversation starter when you share the same views on sobriety.
The Bottom Line
There is no shame in being sober, and if you are looking to go down that path, consider finding help with Soba Recovery Centers before you get back into the dating game. It can help you find yourself before you look for someone to compliment you.
If you aren’t sure which dating app will be best for you, there is no harm in downloading them all. You know, give yourself the most options so you can see what’s out there! You deserve to experience the same kind of love as anyone else, so don’t let your sobriety hold you back.
Sources:
Substance Use Disorders | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness